Thoughts on Miscarriage...

I am suffering a second miscarriage. It almosts seems surreal because I didn't even know that I was pregnant. This makes it a lot easier than my last miscarriage in December 2006. That period was the darkest in my life. I knew I was pregnant and had already been making plans to have that special little child in our lives. I felt the loss completely--almost sinking into a depression.

Now that I know that I was pregnant, I feel a profound sadness. I also feel a degree of relief with the knowledge that the unexplained bleeding is not something life threatening or something requiring surgery. It is a small comfort.

So now, we will begin our lives anew. I still have hope to have more children join our family. I know that it is not something to take for granted; but is instead a wonderful blessing to hope for and take delight in...

Thoughts While Lying 'Neath a Rose-Colored Canopy

During this hectic week of cleaning and packing up the house, I made updating my blog a priority on my "to do" list. It is now early Saturday morning--at the end of the week--and I find myself in an antebellum home, lying underneath a beautiful rose-colored canopy. The house is cleaned, packed away, and ready for potential buyers. My blog, on the other hand, is unattended. So, before I partake of a delicious breakfast, I will fill in the details of the last month.


Since my last entry we have celebrated Independence Day by eating Voo Doo BBQ one last time, watching "A Capitol 4th" on PBS, and enjoying the neighborhood fireworks.



We celebrated Lilah's 3rd birthday on July 7th. There is a funny story related to this particular day. The night before I began to bake Lilah's cake, quickly realizing that I did not have eggs, cooling racks, measuring cups, etc., as they had all been packed away. So, I made a quick call to my dear friend Jeni who has a cake business. She agreed to do a layer cake for Lilah. She made a beautiful cake to my specifications, then disaster struck. While transporting it to my house, she was nearly hit by another driver. In her evasive driving, the cake was destroyed. She was a true professional and managed, with the help of Lisa, to patch it up. With the addition of the music box (as the third layer of the cake) and the Tinkerbell dolls, it turned out beautifully! Lilah absolutely loved it and we had a wonderful little party. Jeff and I were there, of course, along with Adam, Seth, Noah, John John, Luke, Alana, Dayna, Leonard, Sarah, Lisa, Jeni, and Sissy. It was truly a fun party. Lilah received fairy wings, a fairy book, Silvermist, My Little Pony, a Tinkerbell outfit, pajamas, a monkey book, a Tinkerbell placemat, a little outfit, and the music box. So much fun! And Lilah looked so sweet in her birthday dress--a peach and pale green confection that I bought in Iowa--long before I even had a little girl to wear it!


In mid-July, we took a little mini family vacation to see Grand Isle before we moved. We drove down to Grand Isle on a Wednesday afternoon. We walked the beach and let the children play for a little while. Then, we packed everyone up in the van and headed toward Gulf Shores. We stopped and stayed in a hotel in Biloxi. This was not fun! Lilah and Luke kept each other (and us) awake for a couple of hours. Before too long, it was time to wake up and pack the van again. On the way to Gulf Shores, we visited Bellingrath Gardens. I highly recommend this. Bellingrath is a beautiful home surrounded by acres of gardens. It was so beautiful and the children were very well behaved and really enjoyed this as well. We then caught a ferry to Dauphin Island. The children loved this as well!! It is a very pleasant way to travel to the beach.


We arrived at a duplex we had rented in Gulf Shores. This is a very good way to do family vacations. We didn't have to worry nearly as much about the noise the children made, and having two bedrooms made the stay much more pleasant. We spent two fun-filled days at the beach playing in the sand, splashing in the water, and swimming in the pool. We also had lunch at Lambert's--and the children LOVED it. What a nice tradition!


After the beach, we drove to my parent's house. We stayed Saturday night there, attended church with them the next morning, and then dad drove Jeff and me to the Amtrak station in Tuscaloosa. We left the van to be repaired in preparation for our next trip. Lisa picked us up in Slidell and the crazy week of packing the house began. This last week has really been a blur. Cleaning/packing/cleaning/packing with a couple breaks to get my hair done, watch Harry Potter 7 (fantastic, by the way), and have my very last nail appointment with Debby. I love her and will miss her so much!!! After my nail appointment yesterday, I picked Jeff up from his last day at work and we drove to beautiful Nottoway. It is so lovely and relaxing--and how I ended up updating my blog 'neath a rose colored canopy...

Another Move...

The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.
--Oliver Wendell Holmes

Since getting married in January of 1999, I have moved a total of 7 times. This is about to increase to 8 with our move next month. Jeff's new job will pay moving expenses and we were pretty excited to have a professional company do all the work for us. Unfortunately, our house hasn't sold yet, the land we REALLY want isn't for sale yet, and we don't want to buy a house and tie ourselves to it (thus putting off building our dream house for who knows how long). So, we are going to be staying with my parents until we decide what we need/want to do.

This leaves us with the dilemma of what to do with our belongings while we are in limbo. We ordered two PODS to fill with our household items (dishes, towels, sheets, glassware, etc.) and other things like holiday decorations, camping supplies, etc. We have pretty much decided to leave our larger furniture in the house until it sells. It will give the house that "staged" look and solve our problem of where to store everything until we need it.

Now we are going to have to get serious about a realtor. I have to admit I have really been putting this off. I cringe to think of the check we will have to write them. But, I also realize that each month the house sits unoccupied is money down the drain. I really don't want to do this moving-thing anymore. I am tired of packing and unpacking boxes. I am so ready to have my garden-like property with an enchantingly beautiful cottage-esque house situated prettily on it. Is that too much to ask? I am not serious. I know it is a lot to ask, and I hope that I will be as grateful for it when I get it as I imagine I will be.

So, prayers please that our house sells quickly; that we can buy the property we have our eyes on; and that our path will be smooth and straight in designing and building our future home.

Now THAT is one move I greatly anticipate...

In Zermatt

We spent yesterday and this morning in the lovely Swiss town of Zermatt. It is very isolated and features stunning views of the Matterhorn. It is such a charming town. There are very few vehicles allowed (mostly miniature trucks). In fact, there is a large fee charged if you want to drive your vehicle to the city. This makes it a very pedestrian friendly area filled with charming boutiques and restaurants. Flower boxes adorn homes, hotels, and other places of business. (I LOVE that!)

Typically, the best views of the Matterhorn occur in the morning. It was rainy and we were afraid that the weather wouldn't cooperate. However, last night Jeff called me from his run and told me to run to the window and look. Sure enough, the clouds had cleared to the point where we could clearly see that spectacular mountain. I am so glad we had the opportunity to see it and to photograph it.

I was able to find an adorable traditional swiss dress for Lilah, a stuffed St. Bernard plush toy for Noah, and Swiss Army Knives (engraved) for Adam and Seth. I still am on the lookout for the perfect gifts for John John and Luke. I love shopping! :)

"The Heroine in Your Own Story; or, Lost and Helpless in Sargans"

You know in a good story there is almost always a heroine who gets into trouble. Most often circumstances beyond her control manage to put her into uncomfortable and trying--sometimes even dangerous--situations. We cry with her, we feel for her, we cheer for her when either she is rescued or manages to save herself.

It's a classic scene in the movies--a girl and a boy are separated by a closing train door. The cruel hand of fate reaches in and tears them apart. Enough already, right? Just stop the train. Get the conductor. Pull the emergency cord. Well, I can now say from personal experience that the train doors close quickly, and they don’t open once the train starts to move. The conductor? He’s railcars away and he won’t stop the train for you, anyway. The emergency cord? It doesn’t do a thing--comforting, right?

But, this story needs to be told from the beginning. At least the beginning of the day. I was pretty exhausted after several days of busy sightseeing. I really just wanted to spend the day in bed, reading. Maybe get a massage. I know, I know. Many of you will say, “Why waste your time in Europe?!? The opportunity doesn’t come around very often.” I only reply that I am a quiet person who requires pockets of quiet time here and there. To each his own, right?

Yesterday, Jeff mentioned using our EuroRail passes to really see the country, and maybe pop into Liechtenstein and Austria, as well. I gave up my rest day--actually a little excited to go to places we hadn’t originally planned to see this trip. The day started fine. Jeff had gotten up early to make the travel arrangements and let me sleep in as long as possible. I hurriedly dressed, ate a quick breakfast, and made it to the train station in time to meet him there. We boarded the train to Zurich, passing through Lausanne and Bern. It was very lovely. Mountains, lakes, picturesque villages, and vineyards combined to form a truly enchanting sightseeing experience.

In Zurich, we stopped to eat lunch at a place we heard good things about. The chicken cordon bleu was delicious. The first problem arrived when we found out--after we had already eaten--that the restaurant did not accept credit cards. Uh-oh. We only had a total of two hours in Zurich before it would be time to leave to visit Liechtenstein and Austria. We had already taken an hour of that time to walk and eat. It took a half an hour for Jeff to find a place that would exchange our American dollars for euros/swiss francs (?). Once we had paid for our lunch, Jeff wanted to make a quick trip to see a famous church. I would normally love that, but we only had 30 minutes to catch the train. I am very much a “planning” sort of person. My husband is a “go with the flow”/”fly by the seat of his pants” kind of person. I ended up, grumpily, following him to the church. My feet were sore already, and once we made the trek to the church Jeff wanted to take the time to climb the steps to the tower. Easy right? Short answer, wrong. After, no lie, about 14 flights of very steep steps my legs and feet were screaming. How bad was it? I said “hell”-- in a church--and I don’t even cuss. We hurried back and just managed to catch our train.

Once in Sargans, Jeff found a taxi driver to take us into Liechtenstein. It is a charming country and during a short shopping break I managed to find a kitschy apron for my collection.

We then traveled to Austria where we planned on eating a wonderful, highly rated Weinersnitchel dinner. After arriving in the town of Feldkirch, though, we discovered that the restaurant was closed on Mondays (not terribly unusual with nice restaurants). This was very disappointing. We were really interested in trying that traditional dish in Austria. After a shortened visit, we managed to find the train station to carry us back to Sargans. Once in Sargans, we hurried to catch our train. My feet and legs had already been killing me and I couldn’t keep up. Jeff had my bag, as well as his, so that we could move faster. He ran on ahead to hold the door to the train for me. Just as I was reaching it, he stepped further inside to make sure we were on the correct train. The door slid closed--literally--in my face. We both realized what had happened and after banging fruitlessly on the door the train started to move. Jeff was stuck on it and tried to get it to stop--even resorting to pulling the emergency cord-- to no avail.

I was numb. Frustrated. Angry. My feet hurt. With dread, I realized that not only were we separated, but my bag was with Jeff. So there I was, at about 8 at night, stuck in Sargans with no passport, no money, no rail pass, no credit cards, and no phone. To add insult to injury, I really had to pee and I did not have the change to use the restroom (see previous post). I literally felt like a heroine. No, not the heroine in the end of the story with a glorious conclusion, but the heroine in the beginning of the story when her whole world comes crashing down around her.

What was I to do? Jeff was on an express train (no stops) to Zurich and I was stuck in Sargans. Sargans is in part of Switzerland that isn’t terribly touristy--so unlike Geneva, there weren’t many English speakers at all. I literally sat down on a bench in the open train station there and cried. My jacket was in my bag with Jeff, and so as the night darkened and it got chillier and chillier I was only more and more uncomfortable in my cap-sleeved (but quite stylish) cowl-necked blouse. Then, it started to rain. Really??? Were the screenwriters in the sky conspiring to create this pitiful situation? It sure felt like it. I found a phone booth and tried to make a collect call to Jeff’s cell phone. However, they do not allow collect calls to be made to cell phones. I couldn’t remember the account number, security code, and expiration date of any of the credit cards in my bag, so I wasn’t able to use them to call him.

After about an hour and a half an older man asked me what was wrong. He couldn’t speak English, so he led me into a convenience store where a lady who worked there spoke English. I explained the situation to her, and she managed to call Jeff. She found another train heading to Zurich. I hopped on it, not realizing before it was too late that it did go to Zurich--just in a round about way requiring a train change. Eventually, I made it back to Zurich and Jeff who was there waiting for me. Unfortunately, the last train to Geneva had already left. We were stranded in Zurich. Jeff managed to find a hotel right by the train station for us to stay the night. So, I’m lying here in a hotel that I would be scared to death staying in alone, wishing we were in our very comfortable hotel (THAT IS ALREADY PAID FOR!!!) in Geneva; but, I guess beggars can't be choosers. I should count my blessings. I could still be stuck in Sargans with no money, no passport, no credit cards, and no phone. Somedays it just doesn’t pay to be the heroine in your own story.


P.S. I must say how glad I was to have Jeff waiting for me at the Zurich train station. He had bought me a grilled meat wrap for dinner, as well as several drinks and pastries. I still feel a little bit in denial that all this happened to me. But, in the famous words of Scarlett O’Hara, “tomorrow is another day!”

First of all, Switzerland is a beautiful, very clean country. That is why I was surprised to occasionally smell urine around sidewalks and nooks. Yesterday, I almost walked into a man peeing in a bush in a park; then today I saw a man peeing on the street and another in an outdoor corner. WHAT!?! Why here, in this educated country, are there people peeing in the streets? BECAUSE THERE ARE NO FREE BATHROOMS!! Yes, it's true. Today I had the privilege of paying $2 to use a bathroom. To add insult to injury, exact change is required to enter the bathroom area. This is not good news when you are REALLY in a hurry! Later in the day I stopped in a McDonald's (the chicest McDonald's I've ever seen!) to use the restroom and discovered that the use of their "water closet" was restricted to those who had purchased food there (a code to enter the restroom was on the receipt). If you ever get to travel this beautiful country, make sure you have exact change to enter restrooms and be prepared to avert your eyes if someone just can't make it! [This reminds me of a time, fall 1994, when my dear Danish friend, Martine, went with me to Wal-Mart. She inquired about where we paid to use the bathroom. I thought that was completely hilarious--paying to use the bathroom? Now I fully understand, it's all cultural... :) ]

Of Queries and Manuscripts

Well, I just did it. I e-mailed a query letter along with my manuscript for a childrens picture book to an agent. So now, I suppose, I am waiting for my first rejection letter. :) I have always been a "people pleaser" and I believe writing for publishing is the cure for that! Almost every writing site I have found emphasizes the need to develop a thick skin and prepare for the rejections that will surely come. So, I am focusing on not taking any rejections to heart, and instead using them as opportunities for growth and improvement.

Fingers crossed that it appeals to them and they want to work with me! :)